After an hour or two at home (during which time I wrote the last post), we got ready to go to a festival at the church where she goes to preschool (hosted by church, not school).

The festival included free food, so I assure you, I was NOT making lunch. So, while I was getting ready (the mornings adventures did not include makeup, but I wasn’t about to go see people I know all skanky) she announced she was hungry. There was a back and forth, no she could NOT have lunch, we were on our way to lunch. Yes, she could have a snack but she had to get it herself. Choices offered were grapes, yogurt or bread. A couple minutes later, I walk into the living room and she has three piece of bread. I inform her that’s entirely too much, she can’t have three slices, she needs to give one to me. Which I eat because her hands have been all over it. And I love carbs. So then she says - totally straight-faced “I got three pieces so I could share one with you, Mommy!”

When we went outside to leave, she was STILL eating bread. She put half a slice in the driveway “for the ants to have something to eat”. But when I said “oh, it’s probably good you gave me that slice, since you couldn’t have finished all three slices” she looked at me like I was insane. Because she COULD eat more bread, she was just sharing…

The main draw of the festival was the pony rides (of course!). So I will now present a pony photo essay:

Ursula gets on the pony.

The pony and Ursula (and handler) walk away.

The pony stops. To pee. For approximately 10 minutes.

The pony walks again. Thanks to pee delay, Ursula has longest pony ride of the day.

Ursula sees clown and poses with her. VOLUNTARILY! Any damage to her psyche is *not* of my doing.

Aside from ponies and clowns, there was also a moonwalk, games, face painting, music and the aforementioned free food (hot dogs, cookies and Republican brownies. So called because their “Nut Free!” sign was written on paper with a GOP logo. Which isn’t good or bad - just mildly amusing. Admittedly, the sight of an elephant seems more “has nuts!” than “nut-free!” to me. But I was just happy someone made - and noted! - nut free foods. Well played, Republican brownie maker!). The games included a cupcake walk, a “book” walk (note: these both were played to Kids Bop CDs. There is something just *wrong* about “book”/cupcake walking to George Michael songs sung by children while at a church festival), a penny drop (the kind with pennies and cups in an aquarium), a duck pond and a few others we didn’t play.

Ursula won the “book” walk (because they let everyone play til they’ve won). The choices were books (many nice options!) or small stuffed animals (hence my properly used “book” walk). So *of course* she picked a stuffed animal. You may remember that I once had a tie-dyed Beanie Baby. Which I sold for over $100. So, imagine my surprise when one of the free stuffed animal prizes was a NWT Tie-Dyed Beanie Baby! Not Garcia - he sits upright and this new bear, Sammy, is in more of a bearskin rug position. (Apparently, he is honors Sammy Sosa, though what a tie dyed bear has to to with a home run race is beyond my comprehension). So, I guess the point of this paragraph is that while the rest of my investments may be tanking, I am a Beanie Baby investment *wizard* - I really know when to hold them and when to fold them and when to jump on a crazy fad and sell to the nearby collectibles store. I hope there is not a Beanie Baby value resurgence because when we got home Ursula promptly cut off the tag. Clearly, she did not inherit my stuffed-animal investing prowess. Unless used Webkinz become a hot commodity.

Big morning here. First we went to Home Depot to go a Kids Workshop thingie. Which was *super hard*. It involved screwing pieces together, but only one of the two pieces (for each of the 4 screw joints) was pre-drilled. AND they had these skinny little screwdrivers. Which I guess are good for small hands, but it was hard to get any leverage. Just a poorly planned project. Dan’s brother is now proud recipient of a shoddily constructed football goal post. Hooray!

Ursula is very fond of pointing out political signs (well, one candidate’s) and flags. So, we were driving through my brother in law’s neighborhood and talking about how if someone likes a candidate she doesn’t like, that’s okay, yada yada. So then she said “well, who else likes Obama besides you and me?”. I named some people. And she said “what about Bobby?” and I said “well, Bobby does, but I was only listing people who are old enough to vote”.

“Kids do not vote?!?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!”
“I guess we don’t really want our country in the hands of 5 and 8 year olds”
She was shocked, dismayed and I think even offended by this. I am a little shocked and dismayed too - my 5 year old seriously thought she gets to vote? I don’t know - I do always let her vote with me, so maybe she thought our voting TOGETHER counted as her voting?

After Vote-gate, we went to Target. Where Ursula was veryvery excited to discover “mint” toilet paper. Which is actually the Cottonelle with Aloe. Which is not what we usually buy, but I was happy to oblige. Though I did make it clear it was not mint. I do not even want to know what she thought mint tp would be like. Ew!

On our way home, we had a talk about the dire consequences of not holding hands in the parking lot. My whole “I do not want to scare you, but cars might not see you. Kids have gotten squished that way. And DIED!” didn’t really make the impression I wanted. She just said “why?”

Usually, when I add something to my blogroll (or remove it if I’m in a smiting sort of mood), I don’t “mention” it. But alas, the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks is worth “noting”. In it’s* “own” entry. Check it out. You won’t “regret” it.

And heck, while I’m at it, I will mention one other thing. Now, as you all know, I try to keep this blog as unbiased and fair as possible. And I think I do a good job for the most part. But there is one issue I haven’t spoken out on in a LONG time (if ever) and now is a good time for a reminder (or first comment). People! Comic Sans!!!!!!!!!! Comic Sans?!?!?!?!?!?! When will we be free of Comic Sans? We all need to work together to ban Comic Sans! Or, at the very least, restrict it to appropriate uses**. Like comics. I will begrudgingly concede that Comic Sans is sometimes a private family matter, and is (marginally) acceptable for personal, non-public use.

*deliberate bad grammar

**this post is simply because it was time for a reminder and the quote blog reminded me of it. It is NOT intended to comment on any shocking Comic Sans usage I may have witnessed.

I am very happy we’re not getting hurricaned tomorrow.I feel a little bad that my sheer willpower has driven the hurricane to destroy homes elsewhere. Oops…

Ursula is having a good week at school. She had “homework” tonight. Note: eating a Froot Loop off her “pattern super loop” and messing up the pattern does not amuse her (I fixed it by eating a 2nd Froot Loop, thus restoring said pattern). However, in my defense, I do not think when her teacher said “show your parents you Super Loop” she meant that I should have to sit through 10 minutes of “blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple! blue! purple!” Because, believe it or not, I GOT that the pattern was repeating blue and purple after only like 3 cycles. Maybe even 2!

(See - I am the worst mom ever!)

My new job is very cool - it’s very part time, but it’s exactly what I need right now. I am working for a software company, doing various support tasks (tech support, community things, etc). My actual title is “Community Development Assistant”.

Speaking of work - I am getting a new laptop. I need to find a sleeve for it. I really want a BuiltNY one, but the cute colors are for the smaller laptops. (I am getting a 15.4″ widescreen Dell Inspiron 1525). So, I am open to suggestions… LeSportSac seemed like it might work, but their current prints are *fug*.

Ursula had her first day of TK today! I think it was very successful. There was a worksheet, some playing, lunch was consumed, no tears where shed, there was a post-school gift of a new Webkinz. Really, what more could a 5 year old want?

Also, I started a new part time job today. It is very cool and flexible and something I’m excited to be doing, so I’m very happy!

Oh course, I know you’re all really here for pictures, so here they are…

My little pack mule. TKers carry their own bags - it is a rule! Her lunchbox does fit in the tote, but then it’s too much weight for one shoulder. If she didn’t need require a hot lunch in a thermos, this would be less of an issue.

What a charming smile!

Showing off her “circle pocket”. She picked this fabric AND the pattern. The oval shaped - excuse me, “circle” - pocket being the main appeal of this pattern.

Also, don’t the Merrell’s make the outfit? BUT, U was happy because she likes her “M shoes”. Her teacher was happy because they are a good choice for running and playing. And I was happy because why trash her brand new T-straps on the first day of school? (She drags her feet on the scooters - it is BAD). So, while aesthetically unappealing, the choice was actually a win-win-win!

With Dan. Who was requested today, even though he never has come to a first day of school before. It was fun, I guess…

A terrifying photo of me being terrified by a choke-hold.

Post school dental hygiene. In new bones jammies. This pair HAS a heart. Our previous pair did not. The boys ones do not have a heart. And they are black, not blue as one might imagine. What one might NOT imagine is just how long we were able to drag out that conversation.

You may be wondering why there are two small green shoes pictured on my blog. Don’t worry, I am getting to that. (You may also wonder where that fabulous paper came from; it’s from Target and I couldn’t live without 500 page giant square pad that cost $5).

Anyway, last night, around 11pm I was plunging my bathroom sink. While talking on the phone. I realize this is weird and and of itself, but it is not the story. (I had been cleaning the kitchen and the disposal was a little clogged and since I had the plunger out I decided to attack the bathroom sink as it’s been draining a little slow. Doesn’t everyone do such things at 11pm? Especially while on the phone?). Anyway, I am plunging away and suddenly, two tiny doll shoes shoot out of the overflow hole. Seriously, shot out! My friend and I were having a serious conversation (I can plunge and talk at once, as plunging is generally mindless) and then I was all “I’m sorry, but i must tell you that doll shoes just shot out of my sink!”

I have lived in this house for 8 years. I have never seen these shoes. Ursula has never seen these shoes (and seems more freaked than amused by my “doll shoes shot out of the sink!” story). There have been little green shoes in my drain for over 8 years!!!! If anyone plunges their sink and finds something more interesting than doll shoes (as determined by me), I will send you some sort of surprise. Perhaps Target paper.

NOTE: I left sink scudge on shoes for photo accuracy.

Then, this morning, I had this completely unrelated bizarre phone conversation. (I want to protect Mr. X’s privacy, but I *can* tell you that it is not Dan. Or one of my brothers.)

Mr. X: Hi.
Me: Hi.
X: Is this the first time you called?
Me: Yes.
X: Oh, okay. Because sometimes I think I feel a vibration in my pants.
Me: Um….
[strained conversation follows as I try not to laugh].

Also, Ursula has taken to singing the Activia yogurt song. Which is really not so much a song as it is a jingle. Or maybe it’s more of a mnemonic? I am not sure. Whatever it is when it’s just one word, she is doing it. It started when we were at the fabric store on Tuesday. She did it. And I said “um, what did you just say?” and then she clammed up, as if she’d been caught saying a bad word*. Then I said “did you just sing ‘Activia’?” and she said yes. I assured her it wasn’t bad and I just wondered. She then proceeded to do it a billion times. Perhaps I should have let her think it was a bad word. I guess Animal Planet does a LOT of yogurt advertising. But she doesn’t want to eat it - it’s “grown-up yogurt”.

* Not that my child says bad words or has ever been exposed to bad words or has ever described a sticker in unladylike terms…

I keep meaning to blog but there are like all these little random things, but also all these big things and then I get overwhelmed. So, instead, I will just do some random disjointed thing that will have to suffice.

Today’s wake-up (an overhead dialogue)
U: Daddy! There is a biting bug!
D: (in shower, so I don’t couldn’t here!)
U: A bug that bites is in our house! Be careful when you get out of the shower! Okay, I am locking the bug in the bathroom.

Because of course, it’s nice to warn people when you lock an insect in a small room with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, this Grandma stuff. I realized that I didn’t really update all along, other than to say, not yet. So here is sort of a synopsis:

July 27-31 (Sun-Thurs.) I stayed with her while my parents were away. Basically, I was with her Sunday, but then mostly slept there at nights as her usually caregivers were there (so I saw her every day, but wasn’t taking care of her 24-7 for that whole time).

July 31-Aug 3 (Thurs-Sun.) She was in hospital, I spent night of 2nd with her.

That Tuesday/Wednesday I saw her - Tuesday she had a Dr appointment and mom and I were going together and we got her all ready and then her stair chair wouldn’t work and she was stuck upstairs. The next day, I met them at Dr (dementia neurologist) and she was answering questions well

Then that weekend (8th-10th) I stayed there while my parents went to a wedding. Friday and Saturday, it was just nights, but Sunday I was there all day. We had an awesome day. She ate well, she was sweet, I colored her hair, we had fun. One of the best days we had in a LONG time.

Tuesday 12th - I got a call that things were bad, but I’d gotten that call on the 31st and that time it sounded worse but she was okay. So I didn’t rush over that minute, but then it sounded BAD so I went over (only like hour or two after initial calls). She’d been totally unresponsive. But then was okayish and knew I was “Missy” (I have never been Missy). Then she was back unresponsive. Then around 9:00 that night, we (me, my mom, my aunt) were all supposed to have this alone time with her.

Okay, so during my one on one time, I hugged and kissed her and tried to take some pictures of us with my camera phone (which I will not share as I am sure they are mildly disturbing). I have a necklace that I wear 90% of the time - it’s a Tiffany initial necklace, and mine is a U. Well, somehow I hooked it around her septum and she was conscious again. (I think hospitals should totally employ this method!). She was fun and funny and then she went back into a coma maybe around 10:30 or 11 and she never woke up. That first night was bad and awful and she made all sorts of scary noises and gasps. But after that, she was pretty much peaceful until she died on Saturday the 16th.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, well I had some other anecdotes, but that Grandma thing got long, so I will save them for later.